Little Things

The first week of my project - the first few days especially - I noticed that the students I worked with all had that funny, antic-filled attitude whenever I was near. I recognized it from so many first-time babysitting jobs. The little bobbing head of messy hair and exuberant face begging me to run after them to see their bedroom, playroom, latest masterpiece, favorite toy. That was the sort of excitement I saw in these kids' faces.

Later, when I looked in the mirror as I brushed out tangles in my own hair before dinner, I saw that expression there, too. I could not wait to get back to the school building the next morning, see what new things awaited me - whether challenging or simple - and discover new things about the students and myself.

Then IT happens. By the second or third time babysitting, by the fourth or fifth day at school; when my presence is no longer a novelty, routine sets in. I see this more strongly in hindsight, how my aunt's students were easier to calm down after goofing off, how they weren't as distracted by my every activity during their lessons, and how I actually had to try to hold their attention when I was in charge of a class.

So it went for me, as well. No, the students never ceased to intrigue me. Rather, I noticed as I reached the middle of my second week that I felt more worn out than excited, and more like I was facing another day of School: 8-3:30 (teach, grade work, and monitor recess as needed), Tutor/Babysit: 3:45-4:30, Grade Papers: 4:00-5:00, Go Home and Make Dinner: 5:15ish... more that than wonderment at all that was taking place. Fortunately for me, my tasks were rarely dull and I had many opportunities to do new things, which certainly kept me on my toes! (I suppose that's part of why I felt so worn out.)

The little things were no longer fascinating in and of themselves.

This is one reason I am so thankful for the reflection points, whether I have been carrying them out the way I'm supposed to or not. After the school day was over, it was far too easy to go home and have dinner, do the dishes and play a game or complete extra grading or work out the details for tomorrow's lessons or watch a movie. It was far too simple to let my brain shut down and not consider the day and absorb what lessons I had learned.

The reflection points encouraged me to look into the day as it had passed and both laugh over the silly little things the kids had said or done, and contemplate what little and big things I had learned while teaching them.

I found that so many of those little things were huge.